She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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