forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
