Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
