Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
