new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
