i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
pray to the hookup gods
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
