Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
