I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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