I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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