Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
