we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
