i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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