new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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