what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
