My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
