shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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