There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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