plz talk dirty to me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
