Can Purell be used as lube?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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