i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
