when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
