you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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