there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
