fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
