can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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