Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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