I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
