there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
