you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
