Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
