They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
