you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
