On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize