This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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