So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
