doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
