she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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