true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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