my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
