i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
