Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We got so high we made milksteak
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
