K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
