Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need to calm my uterus...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
