you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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