i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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