he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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