i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
