if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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