He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
