The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
